Do You Treat Your Spouse as Well as a Stranger? 

*This is directed toward the ladies, but many of the principles I discuss also apply to how husbands treat their wives* 

I have witnessed, and experienced, how some women treat friends, co-workers, and complete strangers better than they treat their own husbands. I suspect most of them have never thought of their behavior in this way. Consequently, I want to shine a needed spotlight on this relationship-destroying flaw and encourage wives to devote themselves more fully, passionately, and submissively to their husbands.  

Shirin Altsohn

First, let’s start with appearance. A first impression is usually formed, at least in part, by our physical appearance, grooming, and clothing. Our outward appearance says a great deal about the things we value, how we see ourselves, and how we view others. 

Ladies, think of your life and ask yourself a simple question: “Do I dress nicer for my friends, co-workers and strangers than I do for my husband at home?” Doubtless, your answer is yes and, doubtless, many women would retort: “Well, yeah, of course I dress up to go out, but I’m not going to dress up at home!” I would respond: “Why not?” 

Think of it, you women spend so much time and effort dolling yourselves up, doing your hair, plucking this or that, and making yourselves fancy for people who are less important in your life – a boss, for instance. Many of you, however, let your hair down, throw on some sweats or shorts, and wash off your makeup when you get home; that is to say, you let yourself go when you are around your husband. 

Alternatively, you might never do yourself up at all during the day if you stay home, thinking it unnecessary. In your mind, dressing up and looking good is only for being outside the home or for “special” occasions, implying the time with your spouse is less valuable and less special. 

Maybe you feel extra comfortable around your husband and feel that lounging with him and never going out of your way to be visually appealing is no problem. If both of you are fine with that, then more power to you (though, truth be told, a lot of guys would prefer to see you looking neat and stylish even around the house, though they would probably never tell you so to your face). However, ask yourself a couple more questions. 

First, ask: “When my husband arrives home from work, does he see me at my best?” If not, then ask: “Doesn’t my husband deserve to see me at my best?” In all honesty, why should you be better-dressed for your boss, your co-worker, your friend from high school you are meeting for lunch, or random people in public than for your husband? 

Don’t misunderstand; you don’t need to wear high heels, a retro rockabilly dress, classy jewelry or a beautiful chocker, styled hair, and neat makeup all day. Then again, I personally think that’s an absolutely adorable and attractive style. This high-class style helps accentuate a woman’s natural femininity. The point, however, is to consider whether you make more of an effort to dress up for the world or for your husband. If the former, then you might need to change what you’re doing. 

When you were dating your now husband, did you let yourself look like a slob around him? Probably not. During courtship, you likely went out of your way to freshen up before you would see him, fix up your hair before a date, or put on something nice to impress him. What about now? Do you still try to impress him? Do still try to look your most gorgeous around him? Do you even make an effort at all to be his bombshell wife that he’s proud to have on his arm? 

Making an effort to look desirable, well-kempt, and attractive will keep alive an element of passion, induce more respect and decent behavior in both you and your spouse, and will make you feel better. Physical appearance is not everything, but it’s a palpable way to show your investment in your relationship, your respect for your spouse, and your enduring desirability. 

More important than appearance is attitude, mindset, and maturity. I refer specifically to femininity. Being feminine is only partially about your physical appearance, dress, and grooming. Rather, it is a mindset and a way of living. It’s the substance of womanhood and the thing that draws men to you like a moth to a flame. It is, in all likelihood, one of the reasons your husband was attracted to you to begin with and is, whether he says it or not, a quality he wants to see you nurture, display, and perfect. 

As I wrote in my piece “A Girl Worth Fighting For,” femininity refers to appearance, certainly, but more to an inward quality unique to women; a quality that attracts men: 

“Why is it that men are drawn to women of this sort; women who embrace their femininity and wear skirts, dresses, and other ladylike apparel? I believe that this style is attractive precisely because skirts and dresses set women apart as women. Men are inherently attracted to women. It’s in our microchip. People of both genders have the innate desire to cleave to one another (Genesis 2:24). It’s a godly impulse. Thus, to sharpen and strengthen that impulse by outward attire is positive and beneficial, whereas blurring those divine lines is destructive and disconcerting. 

“A woman who habitually wears men’s clothing, participates in men’s activities, and acts like “one of the guys,” loses something precious. She diminishes, in a degree, her inherent femininity and a part of that which, by divine design, makes her attractive. Again, this is not to say that women who play basketball, spend time around men, or do something outdoorsy or physical, are bad people, foolish, or corrupt. Yet, women who spend their time competing with men and trying to be like them lose that edge God has given them – their divine femininity.  

“However, the heart of the woman is more important than whether she occasionally wears pants or plays sports. It’s trumps skirts and long hair. The purest form of femininity exudes from within. It bubbles up in the form of charm, wit, allure, vivaciousness, and a type of unique light or energy that men simply can’t duplicate – and often can’t resist. . . . 

“Femininity is a virtue and a strength. It is a gift and a talent. It has a very real power to entice, inspire, uplift, brighten, and persuade. Any woman who has mastered the art of femininity, both in dress and behavior, is a cut above the rest and is worth fighting for as only men can.  

“When you combine virtue, submissiveness, and femininity together in one, you see the image of a real woman emerge. Unlike the counterfeit version offered by feminism, this blend of virtues is true empowerment. It’s the substance of real womanhood. It’s what causes good men to fight, risk their lives, and even die in foreign wastelands. It’s what prompts men to feats of strength and great exertions of character. It’s the thing that persuades men to raise their chin, square their shoulders, and work harder. Ironically, it’s the very thing that makes us become the sort of men women love and desire.” 

Wives, do you behave and act in a feminine way around your husband? Did you when you were dating? I tend to think you probably did, even if you didn’t do it overtly or consciously. If you did act more femininely when you were dating, why not now? Should you put your best foot forward in the rehearsal or in the main event? Also, if you have drastically changed your behavior since tying the knot and have become less feminine or less of what you were before, you have to ask whether you were dabbling in false advertising during courtship or if your loss of femininity happened through carelessness. 

It seems that women generally behave womanlier and more femininely when they are dating, but become more hardened, crass, and sloppy when they get married; as if it was all an act meant to catch a mate instead of who they really were. If you are in the same boat – even if this has happened unconsciously and was never your intention – you can course correct, embrace your natural femininity, and recapture your husband’s heart.  

Becoming more feminine around your husband will produce magical effects. Perhaps not immediate effects, but palpable and lasting ones that will move your relationship in the right direction. It will show that you still care about him, that you respect him enough to look and act nice for him, and that you are still the high-quality woman he thought he was marrying. 

Part of having a feminine attitude is being deferential, dutiful, and humble before your husband. Notice what I did not say. I did not say that being feminine is being a slave, a servant, or a voiceless, mindless, dependent “doormat.” Strong men want strong women, but not the unruly “strong and independent” type Hollywood and the Marxist-feminist movement promote. The strength we desire, honor, and crave is the confidence you show in your own femininity, your willingness to be submissive and trusting, and the respect and loyalty you show to us as men, husbands, and heads of households. 

Being submissive to your husband shows far more strength of character and will power than being rebellious, back talking your man, or doing everything yourself. Any petulant, selfish, egotistical woman can behave like that and live her own “independent” life her way without regard to another person. It takes a stronger woman, a humbler woman, a more confident woman, to willingly submit to, respect, and live well for a man. That voluntary submission and willingness to work on yourself, go out of your way to tidy yourself up, and to express loyalty, love, and attentiveness in a hundred little ways, is what is so endearing. 

Let me now draw more contrasting comparisons to work or public life and home or marriage. For you working women, do you defer to your boss, doctor, or priest? If not, you would probably be fired. Then why not also defer to your husband? Who is more important to you? Who besides God stands in a position of more importance in your life? 

If you are a stay-at-home wife, which is awesome and preferable, do you listen to and receive counsel from your husband? If not, why not? What is stopping you? What is holding you back from truly trusting him and becoming his first officer? 

Ladies, if your boss asked or told you to do something, would you back talk? Would you toy with him? Would you give him the run around? Would you give him some lip or sass and question his authority? Would you rebuff him? Would you ignore him? Of course not! Yet, the same woman who wouldn’t dare ignore or disobey her boss often has zero problem challenging, rebuking, or back talking to her husband. In all seriousness, ladies, isn’t this backwards and wrong? Why does your husband occupy a lower level on your totem of respect? 

If your husband asks something of you, do you do it or do you shrug your shoulders and consider it to be optional? What about if your boss asks you to do something? Try shrugging your shoulders and ignoring him the next time he makes a request and see what happens. If you don’t expect your boss to tolerate insubordination and unruly behavior, why should your husband have to tolerate and endure it at home? If anything, you should be more willing to work harder, more promptly, and more enthusiastically when your husband makes a request than when your boss does. 

Think more deeply about the language you use. Would you use the same insulting, sarcastic, dismissive language you use with your spouse with your boss or your friend or your dentist? Do you yell, get short with, or roll your eyes at, your store clerk, your co-worker, or your doctor? If not, then consider whether it is better to show respect to a boss, friend, lawyer, doctor, etc., or to a spouse. 

Women have a unique ability to calm down, placate, and soothe angry, exhausted, or brooding men. Yet, there’s little in this life more grating and repugnant than a quarrelsome woman who raises her voice, yells, and demeans with her words. It’s not right when a man does it, but it is positively unnatural and noxious when a woman does. Ladies, if you wouldn’t dream of going around in public ranting, screaming shrilly, or dismissively treating those you meet, why would you ever do any of these things to the man you say you love – the one you have voluntarily chosen to be with for the rest of your life? 

Part of the reason why we don’t treat each other as civilly as we should is the fact that modern life is so constructed as to prevent spouses from spending the maximum amount of time together. When life gets busy, husbands and wives only spend a few short waking hours together. Even on a normal day, the bulk of your time is spent at an office, factory, or away from home, spouse, and family. Is this conducive to growing positive relationships? Of course not! 

People in general also lack emotional intelligence (normal intelligence, too). We are living in a state of arrested development. An argument can me made that men suffer from this malady more since women are jumping ahead in getting degrees, earning higher grades, and other factors I deem irrelevant. However, in my own life experience and observations at universities and in society, it’s the ladies who lack emotional intelligence. 

Without any doubt, women are weepier than men. Women often lack the same fortitude as men and quit difficult things more readily. This perhaps shines a light on why over 80% of divorces are initiated by women. When the going gets tough, they get going; they don’t have the character to see it through or the willingness to do those things that would help their relationship most. 

Recently, I read a great statement from one Jon Sole on The Tradwives Club Facebook page that said: “A marriage without a head is chaos and a marriage with two heads is a monster.” This is not only true, but profoundly so. 

From the beginning, women have played a crucial support role in the home. While the man is the head of the home, the woman is the heart. Both need each other to function, but each has a different function. A heart trying to do the brain’s job is a failure because it wasn’t designed to be a brain. Instead, it was designed to be a heart and can do that job better than a brain ever could. 

The same is true in marriage. This is why it is so critically important to understand the proper roles of men and women and to acknowledge, accept, and embrace God’s marriage dynamic as illustrated in the scriptures. If women understood their proper place in the home, they would not rebel against it as much, find as much cause for complaint, be as unhappy, or be susceptive to feminist propaganda that tries to paint them as victims of oppression. And if men understood their role, they would likewise be better leaders, more attentive, and more effective. 

The Christian writer Charlotte Maxfield explained a solution to marital conflicts. She addressed herself to wives who feel the need to be “independent” and who don’t want to, or can’t bring themselves to, truly trust their husbands and follow the Lord’s Plan for marriage: 

“The solution I suggest to you for overcoming your problems in marriage and bringing peace to your family is exactly what Paul commanded: Submit to your husband in everything! [Ephesians 5:22-24]  

“It’s crazy, you say? It can be done, and I’ve seen it accomplished many times. The changes and blessings it brings are so great that I can hardly express the difference. I have seen several hundred women accomplish it in their lives and as they relate the results of their change in behavior and the reaction within their whole family, their happiness brings tears of joy to your eyes.  

“Can you dare to do it? Have you the courage and faith? What have we really got to lose that is of eternal importance? . . . . 

“Don’t allow yourself to have hurt feelings. It is a sign that you are not truly dedicated yet, and are indulging yourself in childish self pity and it is a form of rebellion against him. If you have displeased him, just honestly tell him that you are sorry and that you’ll correct it. When you really mean it, he’ll know by your actions and respect and worship you for it. . . .  

“Your single and most compelling desire is to obey and please him 100%. As you do this you’ll never have to worry about yourself again: your needs, wants, or welfare.  

“The women who have succeeded in this attitude have found that their husband has become even more confident and manly, more fully accepting of his authority and the responsibility for the welfare of everyone’s needs. Soon, before she even realizes that she has a need, he has provided for it. . . .  

“I know that there are some women who might read these things and the idea of complete submission sends chills of agonizing fear into their hearts, but I have heard fear referred to as lack of faith. In order to succeed in this challenge you must believe that your husband is good. It is frightening to place yourself at the mercy of someone else, but you will find that it will become the most glorious dedication of your existence. The two of you shall reach such realms of exalted joy in your lives together that you will finally begin to know what “home – a heaven on earth” really means. . . .  

“Let me talk to the woman who might tend to feel that she wouldn’t dare to obey everything her husband tells her, because he isn’t perfect and therefore doesn’t have the right. This kind of woman is usually manipulative. Though she’s deathly afraid to admit it to herself, others can see it. She may be the kind of woman who has been unconsciously looking down on her husband in self-righteousness, and treating him like a child who is not permitted to grow into complete manhood. Such a woman will often laugh at such an approach to her future happiness and try to find some logical reason why she couldn’t possibly do it. This justifies her failure to commit herself. It is easier to condemn something as foolish, impractical, faulty, and ridiculous than it is to say, “I haven’t the humility or faith to do it,” or “I’m scared.” Remember, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Gen. 3:16) Some women would like to erase that from the scriptures, but I don’t think that our Father in Heaven could have made it more clear.  

“The only reason a woman will look for an excuse to rationalize or justify her behavior is because she is defending her inside self who is frightened of the truth and afraid of having to humbly dare to change.  

“You must have faith. It is difficult to believe that any man who is entrusted with the welfare and safety of a loving woman who has completely sacrificed all her selfish desires and wishes and pledged her undying obedience unto him would ask such a submissive and delicate possession to commit sin. If he did, I feel that the sin would be upon his head, if she were obeying God’s law. And I cannot believe that any of our husbands are that corrupted.  

“You must have faith in him and in yourself, and in God – that He will bless your sincere efforts. I believe that He will answer you beyond your most vivid imaginings. Ask, knock – for His greatest desire is to have heavenly marriages. Remember that you and the Lord are an “invincible team.”  

“After all, isn’t that what the Lord is asking of you? He has commanded us to place nothing before Him in importance. . . .  

“Well, are you willing to set aside your pride? Are you willing to obey God’s law? Can you willingly obey the head of your home as a similitude of your love for your Savior as Eve did? You know what your husband can become, but only if you will cease to resist and fight him. Your pride may be the only thing which is stifling his spiritual growth into what he can become. 

“Is there any price too great to pay for this promise? If we are to become worthy of this tremendous reward, we must practice and grow now. We must take those few frightening babysteps with faith and courage and humbly pray to the Lord to guide us. I have faith that He will.  

“Great blessings are in store for you if you can now give life to the words and beliefs you have merely been giving lip service to all these years” (Charlotte S. Maxfield, “A Husband – To Have and To Hold,” in Duane S. Crowther and Jean D. Crowther, ed., The Joy of Being a Woman: Guidance for Meaningful Living By Outstanding LDS Women, 198-202). 

After reading this, how do you evaluate yourself? Do you rationalize and justify slighting your husband, disrespecting him, or disobeying him, or do you faithfully, joyfully, proudly jump into your role as his wife? Do you fight against your husband instead of fighting together side by side with him? Do you nitpick at your husband’s flaws as a way to deflect from your own? Do you give your husband the benefit of the doubt or use his imperfections as an excuse to undermine, accuse, or disobey him? Are you stunting your spiritual growth and womanly potential because you refuse to adopt a feminine, submissive, humble heart? 

Mrs. Maxfield is correct when she says that men respond to the way women treat them. Let’s face it, if a woman does not value her husband, he won’t care as much about his own appearance and actions. He should care for himself regardless and can’t blame anyone else for his behavior, but that’s an ideal, not reality. The reality is that the way a woman chooses to respect or disrespect her husband has a powerful influence over him. 

Maxfield is right when she says that a man will live up to the high standards you have for him. If you accept him at a low level, what’s his motivation to improve? Give a man a lofty goal and a clear quest and he will move Heaven and earth to accomplish it. If you have a low opinion of your husband, and, worse, if you make it clear to him that you have a low opinion of him, then he won’t achieve the greatness that he’s capable of. Again, the way a woman responds to a man’s leadership will often decide the course of that leadership in the future. 

The author is also right that a real man will not abuse your trust. That doesn’t mean he won’t make mistakes or fail in life at times or in decision making, but it means that he will sincerely appreciate, cherish, and honor your submission, your loyalty, and your devotion. It makes us rise to the challenge when we know a woman is relying on us, counting on us, and looking to us for leadership, strength, and composure. Most husbands are not tyrannical and won’t turn a wife’s submission – which is a great gift – into a weapon against her. 

Wives, do you truly trust your husband or are you holding back? The answer to this question is a great indicator of the strength of your relationship. If you can’t trust your spouse and fully give yourself to him, you can’t truly be “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) or have a completely harmonious relationship. If you can’t be submissive to him, show him sincere respect, and work to be a feminine lady, what can you truly offer? The most unique thing you can give is your heart, but you can’t really give it while disrespecting him, treating him worse than a stranger on the street, giving him less deference than you would a boss, dismissing him, or acting like an “independent” woman who “don’t need no man.” 

Ladies, please ask yourself if you love your husband enough to treat him better than anyone else in your life. Are you willing to show him more respect, more deference, more submission, more eagerness to listen, more attentiveness, more care, and more selflessness than to any other person? Are you willing to put in the same effort you made when you were dating to look and behave nice for him? Are you willing to bite your tongue, retain a humble attitude, and nurture a meek mindset with your husband? Finally, are you willing to be the feminine woman he really wants you to be? 

However you act, and whatever you choose to do and be in your marriage, I hope you put your husband first before strangers, co-workers, friends, or anyone else. I hope that the way you treat your spouse is better, kinder, more patient, more compassionate, and more devoted than how you treat anyone else in your life. If not, then why are you even married? 

To close I want to make a confession: I don’t do all of the things I suggested perfectly. Does that surprise you? I doubt it! People often accuse me of being condescending or hypocritical. It’s not condescending to speak assertively and it’s not hypocritical to live imperfectly while sincerely trying to follow your principles. Only one Man has ever lived His principles perfectly and no woman has ever done it. All of us fall short. 

As a husband, I have fallen short of nearly everything above that applies to both men and women. In terms of appearance, for instance, I most often wear shorts here in Panama where I currently reside. I would prefer to wear nicer clothing, but humidity does terrible things to my body. I melt with no clothes on let alone with layers of formal clothing! That said, back in the States I had gradually adopted a little nicer, neater style and, when I finally get back to America with my family, I plan to be even more disciplined in this aspect. 

Committing to live better and more strictly does not mean we will succeed in every situation or that we should be condemned as hypocrites when we fail. All of us, men and women, husbands and wives, must devote ourselves to higher ideals. We will never become better by holding lower standards that don’t ask much of us. What I have outlined above for wives is a hard road, but it’s also a holier road that leads to more rewards for them and for their husbands. It leads to true fulfillment and satisfaction, passion and sincerity, love and commitment, happiness and joy. 

Wives, treat your husbands with the respect owed them, the submissiveness that will make you both more devoted partners and lovers, the femininity that will endear yourself to him and give you more confidence, and with at least the same level of attentiveness and excited love you showed during courtship, and watch as your relationship improves and flourishes. Or, alternatively, continue treating him worse and with less respect than you treat total strangers and watch as your marriage withers and dies. It’s your choice. 

Zack Strong, 
June 15, 2022

A Girl Worth Fighting For

March 8 is the socialist holiday “International Women’s Day.” Celebrated, canonized, and popularized by the socialists, this holiday was a Soviet favorite and remains sacrosanct among feminists and Marxists of all varieties. Today, therefore, I want to hone in on women and give you three things women can do to be genuinely appealing to men and of true worth to society.

Implicit in that statement is the idea that there are not many quality women in the world. I stand by that notion. There are also very few quality men – perhaps even fewer than women. But today we’re going to do what the feminists love and make this all about women. The men will get their comeuppance a different day. 

You may recognize that the title of this article comes from Disney’s Mulan. In the film, the Chinese soldiers march off to war singing a song that says: “What do we want? A girl worth fighting for.” Today, I’ll tell you, from my perspective, what a “girl worth fighting for” looks like. Specifically, I highlight three qualities: Virtue, submissiveness, and femininity. 

The first imperative in being a girl worth fighting for is being godly and virtuous. Being righteous should be the number one thing any person looks for in a spouse. But what precisely does being “godly” and “virtuous” mean? I like the description given by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on their website

“Virtue “is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards.” It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue begins in the heart and in the mind. It is nurtured in the home. It is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions. Virtue is a word we don’t hear often in today’s society, but the Latin root word virtus means strength. Virtuous women and men possess a quiet dignity and inner strength. They are confident because they are worthy to receive and be guided by the Holy Ghost.” 

Similarly, being godly means to adopt the characteristics of God and to walk in His footsteps. It means being faithful and committed in all times, in all things, and in all places. It means to do as Peter enjoined: 

“[S]anctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: 

“Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ” (1 Peter 3:15-16).

Whatever good traits a woman may have, she’s not a keeper if she’s ungodly, rebellious, and immoral. The Savior metaphorically taught that “if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell” (Matthew 5:30). 

This is not support for the wicked practice of celibacy, as some suppose, but, rather, reinforcement of the idea that we should choose our companions wisely because our eternal salvation is often impacted by their influence upon us. 

The book of Proverbs likewise tells us in a colorful manner that “it is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” (Proverbs 21:9). No man who has ever been in that dishonorable situation would deny those pearls of timeless wisdom. Yet, marriage is a commandment and the burden to find a godly spouse is of the greatest importance. 

Chapter 31 of that same book of scripture asks: “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” It then informs us of some of the qualities of a virtuous woman: 

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. . . . 

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.  

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 

“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-30). 

Virtue is the crown of any woman. A virtuous and godly woman worships the Lord, rejects vanity, does good deeds, supports and listens to her husband, works to make her house a Heaven on earth, is kind, imparts wisdom, and is anxiously engaged in good causes. For her virtuous soul, this type of woman receives the sincerest praise of her husband and children as well as the incalculable rewards of God. 

Virtue and godliness, therefore, should be the first thing any suitor looks for in a potential wife. If she is righteous, has a pure heart, does her best to follow the Lord, and has godly wifehood and motherhood as her loftiest goal, then her value is far above rubies and she is most certainly worth fighting for. 

Submission is another indispensable quality in a godly woman. Being submissive is not the same as being subservient, lesser, or inferior. It doesn’t mean not having a mind or voice. It doesn’t mean abdicating your right to choose or needing to obey another’s unrighteous demands. No woman is under obligation to follow her husband to hell. That said, wives are under divine mandate to submit, or hearken, to their husbands. 

 It doesn’t matter one iota what the world thinks about wives submitting to their husbands or what public opinion is on the subject. It doesn’t matter that most women have adopted feminist ideas and bristle at the idea of a domestic life, choosing instead to waste away in an office cubicle doing work no one will remember or care about. It also doesn’t matter that most men run away from these high Christian standards. The Lord anciently told mankind: 

“Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my aways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:7-9). 

Knowing how contrary the Lord’s thoughts and ways are to those held and practiced by mankind, it shouldn’t really surprise us that anyone repeating what He has said are labeled as crazy, antiquarian, or prudish. Yet, as medieval as they may appear to some, these are the Lord’s revealed standards and, as with every principle of the Gospel, obedience brings blessings while rebellion yields cursing. 

A great Christian woman, Charlotte Maxfield, once wrote of the virtue of submission and of the Biblical obligation women are under to follow their husbands. She explained: 

“The solution I suggest to you for overcoming your problems in marriage and bringing peace to your family is exactly what Paul commanded: Submit to your husband in everything! [Ephesians 5:22-24] 

“It’s crazy, you say? It can be done, and I’ve seen it accomplished many times. The changes and blessings it brings are so great that I can hardly express the difference. I have seen several hundred women accomplish it in their lives and as they relate the results of their change in behavior and the reaction within their whole family, their happiness brings tears of joy to your eyes. 

“Can you dare to do it? Have you the courage and faith? What have we really got to lose that is of eternal importance? . . . . 

“Don’t allow yourself to have hurt feelings. It is a sign that you are not truly dedicated yet, and are indulging yourself in childish self pity and it is a form of rebellion against him. If you have displeased him, just honestly tell him that you are sorry and that you’ll correct it. When you really mean it, he’ll know by your actions and respect and worship you for it. . . . 

“Your single and most compelling desire is to obey and please him 100%. As you do this you’ll never have to worry about yourself again: your needs, wants, or welfare. 

“The women who have succeeded in this attitude have found that their husband has become even more confident and manly, more fully accepting of his authority and the responsibility for the welfare of everyone’s needs. Soon, before she even realizes that she has a need, he has provided for it. . . . 

“I know that there are some women who might read these things and the idea of complete submission sends chills of agonizing fear into their hearts, but I have heard fear referred to as lack of faith. In order to succeed in this challenge you must believe that your husband is good. It is frightening to place yourself at the mercy of someone else, but you will find that it will become the most glorious dedication of your existence. The two of you shall reach such realms of exalted joy in your lives together that you will finally begin to know what “home – a heaven on earth” really means. . . . 

“Let me talk to the woman who might tend to feel that she wouldn’t dare to obey everything her husband tells her, because he isn’t perfect and therefore doesn’t have the right. This kind of woman is usually manipulative. Though she’s deathly afraid to admit it to herself, others can see it. She may be the kind of woman who has been unconsciously looking down on her husband in self-righteousness, and treating him like a child who is not permitted to grow into complete manhood. Such a woman will often laugh at such an approach to her future happiness and try to find some logical reason why she couldn’t possibly do it. This justifies her failure to commit herself. It is easier to condemn something as foolish, impractical, faulty, and ridiculous than it is to say, “I haven’t the humility or faith to do it,” or “I’m scared.” Remember, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Gen. 3:16) Some women would like to erase that from the scriptures, but I don’t think that our Father in Heaven could have made it more clear. 

“The only reason a woman will look for an excuse to rationalize or justify her behavior is because she is defending her inside self who is frightened of the truth and afraid of having to humbly dare to change. 

“You must have faith. It is difficult to believe that any man who is entrusted with the welfare and safety of a loving woman who has completely sacrificed all her selfish desires and wishes and pledged her undying obedience unto him would ask such a submissive and delicate possession to commit sin. If he did, I feel that the sin would be upon his head, if she were obeying God’s law. And I cannot believe that any of our husbands are that corrupted. 

“You must have faith in him and in yourself, and in God – that He will bless your sincere efforts. I believe that He will answer you beyond your most vivid imaginings. Ask, knock – for His greatest desire is to have heavenly marriages. Remember that you and the Lord are an “invincible team.” 

“After all, isn’t that what the Lord is asking of you? He has commanded us to place nothing before Him in importance. . . . 

“Well, are you willing to set aside your pride? Are you willing to obey God’s law? Can you willingly obey the head of your home as a similitude of your love for your Savior as Eve did? You know what your husband can become, but only if you will cease to resist and fight him. Your pride may be the only thing which is stifling his spiritual growth into what he can become. 

“Is there any price too great to pay for this promise? If we are to become worthy of this tremendous reward, we must practice and grow now. We must take those few frightening babysteps with faith and courage and humbly pray to the Lord to guide us. I have faith that He will. 

“Great blessings are in store for you if you can now give life to the words and beliefs you have merely been giving lip service to all these years” (Charlotte S. Maxfield, “A Husband – To Have and To Hold,” in Duane S. Crowther and Jean D. Crowther, ed., The Joy of Being a Woman: Guidance for Meaningful Living By Outstanding LDS Women, 198-202). 

Christian women who have not learned to submit to their husbands are merely giving “lip service” to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some try to argue and claim that submission is not a part of the Gospel, yet as Charlotte Maxfield pointed out, and as any cursory study of the Bible clarifies, a woman’s submission to her husband has been God’s standard from the days of Adam and Eve. God told Eve: “[T]hy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16). 

Modern ears don’t like the world “rule,” yet there it is. Should we look at the synonyms of “rule”? Among similar and equal terms are the following: Direct, order, command, administer, regulate, mandate, control, dominate, decree, decide, judge, govern, head, settle, resolve, run, manage, and lead. A husband is to be the head of his home, governing it in righteousness and leading my example. He is, properly, the final authority. 

I love a description of correct family management given by the religious leader Elder A. Theodore Tuttle. He taught

“There is genuine concern over the diminishing role of the father in the home. His influence is fading. Presiding responsibilities formerly assumed are left either to the mother or to agencies outside the home. This diminishing role is at the root of a multitude of our problems. Numerous things go awry when the scriptural family organization is upset! 

“The father is the patriarch in the home. This means that the father is the presiding authority. This does not mean that he should be dictatorial. Modern scriptures set forth qualifications for all who preside: 

““No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned. …” (D&C 121:41.) 

“In reality, each family is a dominion within itself. Father heads that government. In the beginning it was the only government on the earth and was passed down from Adam to his descendants. Properly organized in the Church, the father is the patriarch of an eternal family unit. Heaven, to us, will be simply an extension of an ideal home. As the presiding priesthood officer, the father fills an irreplaceable role.” 

The family is the core unit not only of society, but of Heaven. It’s not in vain that we call our God “Father.” He is our Father, literally and truly. And we are His children, spiritually and literally. His DNA runs through us and we are part of His family. On earth, as in Heaven, a father stands at the head of his own family as any sovereign governs his own dominion. Oppressive? No. Godly? Yes. 

In New Testament times, this righteous pattern was reaffirmed by the apostles Peter and Paul. Paul instructed: 

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 

“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:22-25). 

Peter, then the head of the fledgling Church, authoritatively and simply declared: “[W]ives, be in subjection to your own husbands” (1 Peter 3:1). There’s no wiggle room there. You either follow (or at least attempt to in good faith) this instruction or you’re not a genuine follower of the religion of the Lord. Choose what is more valuable to you, lip service or authentic discipleship. 

To reiterate, these teachings didn’t begin with Peter and Paul. They began with Adam and Eve and continued down through time and remain in force at present. Read carefully the stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and their families and you will see these principles of patriarchal marriage, manly leadership, and womanly submission on full display. From the beginning, patriarchal marriage has been the Lord’s way. 

The holy scriptures solidify this truth time and time again. Humble people will reap the rewards of this type of covenant relationship if they will enter into it faithfully whereas those seeking selfish “independence” will reap hurt and unfulfillment by and by. 

Women who embrace their submissiveness and earnestly seek their husband’s guidance will be more attractive to the right type of men and will find themselves cherished and treated with the type of respect that feminism pretends to offer but fails to deliver. A submissive, hearkening attitude is indescribably more appealing to an upright man than a bossy, domineering, “independent” woman ever could be. 

Men, if a woman is submissive to you and is attempting to entrust herself to you as she entrusts herself to the Lord, don’t let her down. She wants and needs you to lead. Such a woman is worth fighting for with all the might and passion you possess! 

Next, femininity is a quality that has faded, but which makes a woman worth grappling for. What is femininity? A dictionary definition seems insufficient: “[Q]ualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of women.” What attributes? Which characteristics? Is it an outward trait or an inward strength? I turn to a statement made by a stalwart Christian leader, President James E. Faust: 

“I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the “highest place of honor” in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty. 

“One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others.” 

Femininity, then, has outward manifestations like modesty, but is chiefly an inner attribute of the soul. Let’s talk about both outward and inward features of a feminine woman. True it is that the Bible rebukes those who want to blur the lines between the genders. For instance, Deuteronomy 22:5 states: 

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” 

And another time, Paul taught: 

“Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? 

“But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering” (1 Corinthians 11:14-15).  

What exactly does this mean? Does it mean that any woman who has ever put on a pair of jeans or cut her hair short is a sinner? Of course not! Nor does it mean that a Scotsman who dons a kilt, Romans who wore robes, or a guy who lets his hair get a tad shaggy has flubbed. Femininity, as masculinity, is more about attitude than style. 

We often focus too much on the outward signs of femininity – lipstick, high heels, skirts, dresses, neatly made hair, jewelry, etc. These, I confess, are outrageously attractive. A woman in a skirt and heels, who has long hair and a coy air about her, has infinitely more appeal than one in pants and tennis shoes with a boisterous personality. 

Tasha Tudor pictured with a young family member.

Tasha Tudor once said: 

“Why do women want to dress like men when they’re fortunate enough to be women? Why lose femininity, which is one of our greatest charms? We get more accomplished by being charming than we would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I’m very fond of men. I think they are wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don’t want to look like one. When women gave up their long skirts, they made a grave error.” 

Why is it that men are drawn to women of this sort; women who embrace their femininity and wear skirts, dresses, and other ladylike apparel? I believe that this style is attractive precisely because skirts and dresses set women apart as women. Men are inherently attracted to women. It’s in our microchip. People of both genders have the innate desire to cleave to one another (Genesis 2:24). It’s a godly impulse. Thus, to sharpen and strengthen that impulse by outward attire is positive and beneficial, whereas blurring those divine lines is destructive and disconcerting. 

A woman who habitually wears men’s clothing, participates in men’s activities, and acts like “one of the guys,” loses something precious. She diminishes, in a degree, her inherent femininity and a part of that which, by divine design, makes her attractive. Again, this is not to say that women who play basketball, spend time around men, or do something outdoorsy or physical, are bad people, foolish, or corrupt. Yet, women who spend their time competing with men and trying to be like them lose that edge God has given them – their divine femininity. 

However, the heart of the woman is more important than whether she occasionally wears pants or plays sports. It’s trumps skirts and long hair. The purest form of femininity exudes from within. It bubbles up in the form of charm, wit, allure, vivaciousness, and a type of unique light or energy that men simply can’t duplicate – and often can’t resist.

What’s more, men aren’t intended to imitate femininity. It’s good that men are manly, masculine, and commanding, while women are gentle, feminine, and demure. We were designed to complement and complete each other, not compete with and imitate each other. Society would be a wreck, as it largely is today, were we to ignore the differences of the sexes, including the strengths and failings of each. 

Femininity is a virtue and a strength. It is a gift and a talent. It has a very real power to entice, inspire, uplift, brighten, and persuade. Any woman who has mastered the art of femininity, both in dress and behavior, is a cut above the rest and is worth fighting for as only men can. 

When you combine virtue, submissiveness, and femininity together in one, you see the image of a real woman emerge. Unlike the counterfeit version offered by feminism, this blend of virtues is true empowerment. It’s the substance of real womanhood. It’s what causes good men to fight, risk their lives, and even die in foreign wastelands. It’s what prompts men to feats of strength and great exertions of character. It’s the thing that persuades men to raise their chin, square their shoulders, and work harder. Ironically, it’s the very thing that makes us become the sort of men women love and desire. 

Ladies, on this morally-bankrupt holiday, choose to break away from the crowd. Don’t follow them down paths of promiscuity, rebellion, and sloppiness of both appearance and spirit. Instead, embrace your charming femininity, become boldly submissive, and always pursue virtue and godliness. In short, embrace your sweet feminine nature and become a girl worth fighting for. 

Zack Strong, 
March 8, 2022

Women Then and Now

The problem with feminism, I think the principal problem, is the cultivation of an attitude of victimization. Feminism tries to make women believe they are victims of an oppressive, male-dominated, patriarchal society. They wake up in the morning with a chip on their shoulder.” – Phyllis Schlafly

What I’ll write today will offend feminists; and I’m ok with that. The lyrics “if I offended you, you needed it” come to mind. Sometimes we need to be jarred awake before we realize we’re wrong. Awakening must happen before change can occur.

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To commemorate International Women’s Day, I offer this blunt rebuke of feminists everywhere. I seek to compare what society was like before “Women’s Liberation” and after. It will be obvious by the end of this comparison that “Women’s Liberation” means world subjugation.

Feminism is a diseased mindset. It is a philosophy of perversion, selfishness, and rebellion that is eroding civilization by undermining its basic unit – the patriarchal family. But before we deal directly with feminism and the havoc it has wrought, let’s examine life before women decided to deny their nature, rebel against God’s laws, and destroy society in their quest for so-called “equality.”

Before the advent of Marxist-inspired feminism, women were treated like queens and womanhood was highly cherished. It is one of the great feminist myths that before feminism women were chattel; mere property of oppressive men. Feminists deride their ancestors by calling them “domestic servants” or “doormats.” What Marxist-minded women see as “oppression,” however, was authentic Liberty. The stark reality is that women in the past were freer, happier, and more powerful than their modern counterparts.

From the beginning of time, God designated women as wives, homemakers, and mothers. They were to submit to their husbands as their husbands submitted to God. They were to be “help meets” to their husbands, bear and raise children, and provide a loving atmosphere for growth, service, and character-building in the home. A woman’s calling, when properly understood, is the highest and holiest calling.

With this scriptural comprehension of a woman’s role and mission in mind, it is perfectly understandable that women were expected by past societies to embrace wifehood and motherhood. All of society was predicated upon the idea of the traditional home, in which the woman played a decisive role.

The Christian philosopher and author C.S. Lewis wrote in 1955 of the overarching importance of a woman’s role. His statement captures the high regard in which former societies held women. He wrote to a Mrs. Johnson the following:

[A] housewife’s work . . . is surely, in reality, the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government etc exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes? As Dr Johnson said, ‘To be happy at home is the end of all human endeavour’. (1st to be happy, to prepare for being happy in our own real Home hereafter: 2nd, in the meantime, to be happy in our houses.) We wage war in order to have peace, we work in order to have leisure, we produce food in order to eat it. So your job is the one for which all others exist.”

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This was the attitude that men and women in the pre-feminist world shared. They knew that the woman’s role was central not only to the smooth flow of society, but to the very continuance of the species. Men cherished women and women embraced their nature.

Authors Suzanne Venker and Phyllis Schlafly wrote in their phenomenal book The Flipside of Feminism, from which I will quote generously in this article, that far from being oppressed, American women have been the most blessed class of people on planet earth. They wrote of the power women possessed in the past:

Women of yesteryear had enormous power, just of a different variety. Today when we talk about power, we’re referring to money and status. That makes sense, for this kind of power reflects modern values. In the past, when marriage and family took center stage, women were exalted on the home front. Husbands deferred to wives on virtually all household matters, including child rearing. Women were revered for their unique sensibilities” (Suzanne Venker and Phyllis Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know – and Men Can’t Say, 89).

These two ladies further reasoned in this way:

Despite the failures of the feminist movement, it did have one powerful effect: it eradicated the power women once had over men! Before the 1960s, Americans understood that women had something men wanted, needed, and couldn’t have without a woman’s consent: sex and his own children. By equating sex with love, as women naturally do, men become better human beings – and society is better for it. “Without a durable relationship with a woman, a man’s sexual life is a series of brief and temporary exchanges. With love, sex becomes refined by selectivity. The man himself is refined, and his sexuality becomes not a mere impulse but a commitment in society, wrote George Gilder in Men and Marriage.

Now that feminism has eliminated men’s need and desire to marry, the relationship between the sexes is unstable” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 76-77).

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In former times, women held much power. As Venker and Schlafly note, however, it was of a different variety. The sphere in which women held so much sway was the most important sphere of all – the home. While men are appointed by Almighty God to be the patriarchs and heads of their homes and to take the lead in providing the necessities of life, in Gospel study, in discipline, in home defense, and so forth, women are the beating heart that keeps a family vibrant and thriving. Their tender influence is vital.

A virtuous woman who could keep house and raise orderly, respectful children was treasured and sought after by honorable men. Honorable men throughout all of human history have fought mightily to defend good women. Disney’s Mulan, though an overtly feminist tale, shared a great truth when the soldiers sang: “What do we want? A girl worth fighting for!” Women have traditionally been so highly valued that men of all races, creeds, and nations have voluntarily laid down their lives by the millions to keep them safe – and more so when they bore and cared for their children.

Our ancestors were far more committed to the doctrines of Christ than we are, which largely accounts for the unparalleled success of Western civilization. They knew of the woman’s honored role in the Gospel Plan. They knew that women are co-creators with God and that motherhood is the highest and holiest calling in eternity. Our Christian forefathers also valued good women because they read the following words in their Bibles:

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. . . .

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. . . .

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-28, 30).

The Bible is clear that a good woman’s worth is “far above rubies.” Women who humbly embrace their divinely-appointed roles as wives, homemakers, and mothers “shall be praised” for eternity. Their children and husbands will “call [them] blessed” and praise them for their selfless service in the home, and, by extension, in society and the world.

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Women of the past knew that “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” They understood that if they wanted to change the world, they could do so most effectively from quiet of their own homes. They knew that raising good children who possess manners, character, virtue, industry, and discipline will do more to change the world than a hundred lifetimes working as lawyers, CEOs, or politicians. Feminism has robbed women of their true power and influence over society by luring them out of the home and away from their God-appointed mission.

Let’s underscore a precious truth: American women have traditionally been the most blessed, privileged, pampered, and doted upon group of women in world history. No women have ever had it better. No women have ever lived in a wealthier, freer, and more advanced society. No women have ever had a greater chance for good in the world than those who call the USA their home.

Yes, women of the past – those modest, classy, feminine, submissive, humble, home-oriented women upon whom modern feminists look with scorn – were blessed and privileged beyond measure. They were happier. They were more fulfilled by being mothers in the home than modern women are by working 9-5 desk jobs. And they were more loved, cared for, and protected by men.

Since the feminist virus infected society, the situation has radically changed. Our women have abdicated their ruby-studded thrones by engaging in demeaning and vicious conduct and entertaining anti-Christian ideals. They reject modesty, femininity, and elegance in favor of raucous immodesty and unlady-like conduct. They dress like hookers. They march nude in the streets. They act like petulant little children and screech about how they are such “victims.” In truth, they have only victimized themselves by fighting for an “equality” which was achieved on day one and embracing rebellious, unwomanly behavior.

Equality itself is a myth. It is a communist slogan designed to play upon people’s emotions. In reality, the only equality that exists is in the eyes of God and under the law. All other so-called “equality” is a lie. Achieving across-the-board “equality” has been the dream of Karl Marx and his co-conspirators in all ages. They want to make everyone equally poor, equally enslaved, and equally miserable. They do this by denying human nature and attempting to artificially force everyone to be the same, which they deem “equality.” Because their scheme denies human nature, it can never work to produce a happy, healthy, free, or successful society.

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Let’s be honest: Some humans are better than others. Note that I did not say some humans have more value than others. We are each beloved sons or daughters of our Eternal Father and have limitless potential. I wrote an entire book, The Lineage of the Gods, to convince people that they can be far more than they think they can.

Rather, what I mean is that some people are simply more competent, more disciplined, more virtuous, more intelligent, more talented, and, accordingly, attain to a higher level of success, goodness, and greatness. There is nothing wrong with this type of inequality. It is the fruit of real Freedom. And there is nothing any government ever devised can do to thwart human nature and put every individual on par with all others. No matter how they might try, there will always be those who are lazy, inept, unintelligent, immoral, and bad – those whose aptitudes and choices earn for them a lower level of glory and reward than their fellows both here and hereafter.

Feminists exemplify this flawed Marxist attitude by always screeching about “equality.” In their book, Venker and Schlafly remarked:

Those who believe women in America have not yet achieved equality or that American women are somehow oppressed and need government intervention to level the playing field, think they’re fighting a nation that has wronged them. In reality, they are fighting human nature” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 178).

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Another time, these two observant women noted:

The problem with the sexual revolution is that it was predicated on the lies that gender differences don’t exist and that women want what men want. In fact, there was no need for a movement to make men and women equal because they already were equal – different, but equal. The real reason female Democrats tell American women “there is still much work to be done,” as Beth Frerking does in Secrets of Powerful Women, is that they refuse to admit feminism failed. When you desperately want something to happen and it doesn’t, there is always more work to be done. Women on the left are trying to force a square peg into a round hole” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 77).

Equal but different – a perfect phrase. We are each precious children of our Heavenly Father and equally loved by Him, and we are each endowed by Heaven with the equal rights, but in all other ways, we are different. Men and women have different desires. We see things differently. Our minds work differently. Our biology is different. Men tolerate pain and physical stress better than women do. Men fight better and excel more at sporting competitions. Women are naturally more nurturing and usually have a greater level of empathy and tenderness. Both genders – and there are only two genders regardless of what the mentally ill claim – are eternally different. It’s one of the wonderful things about life that while we are not the same, we are made to complement one another and make up where the other lacks. Trying to force us all to be the same is not only impossible and irrational, but at odds with nature and nature’s God.

I again draw a statement from Venker and Schlafly’s book The Flipside of Feminism. The speak about the deranged fight for impossible and undesirable “equality” and how blurring the lines between the genders creates confusion and undermines society:

When women usurp men’s role in society, as they do now, it messes up the order of things. Most men don’t want to compete with women; they want to take care of them. It makes men feel important and boosts their self-esteem. What’s more, statistics prove women want men to have the dominant role in the relationship. Recognizing this doesn’t give men carte blanche to treat women as subordinate – and most men don’t do this, or want to do this. That’s a feminist scare tactic to convince women otherwise.

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Today, if a person even alludes to the traditional male/female dance – especially if it’s a man – there is hell to pay. In 2006, Forbes editor Michael Noer wrote an article titled “Don’t Marry Career Women,” which sent feminists into a tizzy and prompted a rebuttal from Noer’s coworker, Elizabeth Corcoran. The point of Noer’s article was to highlight the social science research that proves career women, defined as those who work more than thirty-five hours a week, are “more likely to divorce, less likely to have children, and if they do have kids, are more likely to be unhappy about it.” Noer concedes that many employed mothers are happily married; he simply points out that studies show they’re less likely to be so than mothers who are not employed.

He also highlights a study that found both men and women are unhappy when wives make more money than their husbands. This is an inconvenient truth, to be sure; but that doesn’t make it any less true. It seems that despite women’s desire for independence, they still want to be taken care of – and money is part of that equation.

When women insist on competing with men at the same level, which is what happens when a society adopts the feminist view that men and women are the same, conflict ensues. It rears its ugly head on a logistical issues – as couples face the stress of both spouses having heavy workloads – and it rears its ugly head in the bedroom. It seems that highly educated couples who both spend their days at the office are more likely to cheat. “When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase that he or she will meet someone more likeable than you,” wrote Noer. This is not to suggest women shouldn’t be in the marketplace. But it is to say ramifications ensue when husbands and wives are both subjected to temptations on a consistent basis.

The marriages that stand the best chance of survival (and appear happiest) are those in which husbands and wives are not competing. Traditional marriages, in which wives depend on their husbands’ incomes and husbands defer to their wives on matters related to the home – including how to spend his income – are generally in harmony. Even in households in which women do work outside the home, smart wives don’t bring their professional selves home. They may wield some measure of power in the marketplace; but when they get home, these women take on a more traditional role.

The reversal of gender roles in modern America has been disastrous. It’s great that men spend more time with their kids than their own fathers did, and it’s great that modern advances have allowed women to be successful outside the home. But neither of these developments should eradicate the delicate balance between husbands and wives. They can each take part in the other’s primary role without supplanting it. That should be the goal.

Of all the ways to improve the relationship between the sexes, none is more important than accepting – and embracing – gender differences. Until we understand who men and women are as individuals and how they work in tandem, we will never be happy” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 89-91.

I concur that recognizing and embracing gender differences is one of the single most important things society can do to correct itself and stop its downward spiral. Men are men. Women are women. Why is this such a revolutionary and controversial thing to say? It’s common sense. It’s basic biology. And it’s scriptural.

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Society cannot survive when its families are in chaos. As goes the home, goes the society. And our homes cannot help but fracture and fall apart when women and men don’t embrace and fulfill their roles faithfully. Women, your place is in the home. Your Father in Heaven has appointed you to be a wife, homemaker, and mother. You are to support your husband, to submit to him guidance, to rear children, and to give selfless service. Men, your place is at the head of your family. You are the patriarch, provider, and defender of your home. You are to lead, guide, and discipline your wife and children. Children, your place is to honor and obey your parents.

Any other system of family order than the one outlined here is incorrect. “Alternative lifestyles” are not just different, they are wrong. True, life is not perfect and at times we have to amend our roles to fit our circumstances. For instance, at times a husband becomes injured and can’t work and the mother must leave the home to provide for the family. In this situation, this is her duty and she would be negligent not to fulfill it. Yet, the rule is that a woman should not work outside the home when there is no legitimate need – and especially not when children are at home in need of a mother’s touch.

Again I say that society cannot survive in the face of broken homes. Society is but a reflection of its homes. When we see crime, incivility, and immorality on the rise, we can be sure that the seeds of these bad habits were planted and cultivated in the home first. It is generally true that children who are raised correctly and with the Gospel of Jesus Christ as their sure foundation don’t depart from it. Those who are raised by absentee, permissive, or single parents, on the other hand, are exponentially more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to commit crime, to rape, to murder, and to perpetuate the cycle of broken homes.

Feminism is code for selfishness. Everything feminists do and promote is selfish. Birth control – selfish. Abortion – selfish. Unnecessarily limiting the number of children in a family – selfish. Sleeping around/fornicating – selfish. Working outside the home when it is not a necessity and there are children to be nurtured – selfish. No-fault divorce – selfish. And so on and so forth.

Abortion is perhaps the epitome of feminist self-centeredness. Feminists are so selfish that they are willing to obliterate the life of a helpless, defenseless, innocent, precious baby to avoid being “inconvenienced.” How callous, cruel, and unfeeling can a person be? Abortion is pagan human sacrifice on the altar of selfishness and Marxist ideology. It is barbarism that is incompatible with a free and civil society, incompatible with the Constitution, and incompatible with the fixed laws of Eternity.

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When the hedonistic, me-centered “sexual revolution” occurred, it drastically altered the centuries-old dynamic in the home and in society. The primary consequence of the “sexual revolution” was that women and men both no longer felt the need to marry in order to engage in sexual relations. Women, in particular, no long saw marriage as a prerequisite. Venker and Schlafly have observed:

When, we might ask, did getting married and staying married become so difficult? Not surprisingly, at the same time casual sex became fashionable – the 1960s. That’s when feminists began emphasizing the individual over the family good. This shift in focus means American women no longer plan for marriage carefully, methodically, and with foresight. Rather, they are encouraged to focus solely on their identities and their careers. The notion that a woman should follow her own dreams, that she should be true to herself and not be held back by husband and children, has become a fait accompli. Women may want to settle down eventually, but marriage (and motherhood) is something that just sort of happens, as if it were a nice accompaniment to an otherwise fulfilling life. To the modern woman, work is the meat of her life. A husband is the salad.

This is a profound transformation. Married couples no longer think of themselves as one unit but as separate entities sharing space, which leads to an obscuring of gender roles and inevitable conflict as each spouse focuses solely on his or her own needs rather than the needs of the marriage. “The confusion over roles is there, as are the legacies of a self-absorbed, me-first, feminist-do-or-die, male-backlash society,” wrote Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee in The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts.

Men’s reaction to this phenomenon is twofold. They either give in to the new regime feminists have created, or they give up. Those who give in generally do so because they’ve either bought into the lie that women are just like men or because it’s easier to get along with the women in their lives than to fight them.

The men who give up tend to remain silent, for if they speak out against feminism, they’ll be labeled chauvinists. Many men would like to get married, but they know modern marriages are precarious. There’s also no incentive for them to do so since they can have sex whenever they want and even live with their girlfriends with little interference from society. This was the theme of the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. Two of the main characters, Neil and Berth, have been living together for seven years, but she dumps him when she realizes he isn’t going to marry her. Rather than accept her share of the blame (by choosing to cohabitate in the first place), Beth suggests Neil is the bad guy for not wanting to get married.

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He’s Just Not That Into You is a splendid example of how feminism failed women. The sexual revolution was billed as something that would put women on par with men, but instead it has ruptured the male/female relationship. At first, women hesitate to get married because they think they’ll lose their identities if they do; then when they are ready to get married (because their biological clocks are ticking), the men in their lives don’t want to marry them.

That is hardly progress on the road to happiness” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 75-77.

A major part of this massive cultural shift we’re discussing was coaxing women out of the safety and comfort of their homes into the fast-paced workplace. Instead of enjoying fulfilling lives raising the next generation of leaders, businessmen, scientists, teachers, and so forth, women now waste their lives away in stale office jobs that can never offer them fulfillment or authentic happiness. I appeal yet again to Venker and Schlafly who wrote:

One of the ways 1970s feminists lured women out of the home was to demand that they focus their education on subjects that would advance their careers, rather than focus on subjects related to homemaking or teaching. Elite feminists push all women to plan their lives around careers. The result is that young women give little thought to marriage and motherhood and instead spend upwards of a decade becoming highly qualified for the workplace. Women believe this is the better life plan, since their mothers’ lives, they are told, were empty and meaningless. Women in previous decades may have had jobs, but they didn’t have careers. Like tempting children with candy, feminists assured women that there was a better life to be had. “Whether girls heard the call of independence from their family or the outside culture, they listened,” wrote Dr. Jean Twenge in Generation Me” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 51-52).

The siren song of “equality” and “independence” has gained women extra burdens and greater misery while depriving them of the love and respect of men and true happiness. Real men don’t care what a woman’s profession is. We honestly don’t. And, furthermore, a woman who intends to continue working when married, for no reason other than that she is an “independent woman who don’t need no man,” is a major turn off. Rather, men want to know whether or not a woman will be committed to her husband, home, and family; whether she will be a submissive, virtuous, and gentle wife; and whether she’s mature enough to know that motherhood is her ultimate calling.

The great spiritual leader David O. McKay once gave us a principle that applies to both men and women, but which especially applies to women who, by divine design, are supposed to be in the home more frequently:

The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home” (President David O. McKay, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Family Home Evening Manual, preface, iii).

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Your highest calling, ladies, will be in your own home as a mother and a wife. You’re chasing a pipe dream if you expect to find happiness and fulfillment outside of the home. Though you should always expand your mind in the areas of history, politics, science, etc., you should base your education – both in and out of school – on developing the skills that will help you be a more successful spouse, wife, homemaker, and mother. You need to learn that the home is where you were designed to shine. It is the place where you can do the most good for others and where you can find the greatest measure of fulfillment. Women, society needs you to come home. We cannot survive another generation of motherless homes.

I share one final statement from Venker and Schlafly. They testified:

The truth is that feminism has been the single worst thing that has happened to American women. It did not liberate women at all – it confused them. It made their lives harder. Women today are caught between man and nature . . . Their female nature tells them sex requires love; marriage is important; children are a blessing; and men are necessary. The culture, meanwhile, tells them to sleep around and postpone family life because that will cost them their identity. And, if their marriage doesn’t work out, it’s no big deal. They can always get divorced.

Is it any wonder modern women are unhappy?” (Venker and Schlafly, The Flipside of Feminism, 55).

When you look at modern women, it is obviously they are not happy. They are bitter and caustic. They have a massive victim complex. And they lash out in disgusting ways unbecoming the “fairer sex.” And is it any wonder they’re so unhappy and riotous? They’ve denied their own nature, rejected the beautiful role God gave them, and have attempted to live like inferior men. As my Dad always said, feminists take the worst qualities of men, seek to imitate them (and fail), and call it “equality.”

I feel to address one additional aspect of the feminist nightmare through which society is passing. The “Women’s Liberation” movement is part and parcel of a much larger, world-wide scheme for the overthrow and subjugation of humanity. Yes, I’m referring to the c-word – conspiracy.

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The Illuminati, whether people want to admit it or not, exited. That’s historically irrefutable. It is also irrefutable that they did not die out, as the court historians claim. Indeed, as I document in my books, you can trace the Illuminati to the birth of a particular ideology – communism. An Illuminati offshoot group, the League of the Just, hired Karl Marx to write The Communist Manifesto and changed its name to the Communist League. 70 years later, this same organization, under a new name, led the coup which conquered Russia and created the Soviet Union. Thus, communism is Illuminism. And it is a Satanic scheme that is very much alive and active in our world under a cornucopia of names and labels.

A major component of the Illuminati/communist vision was to “abolish the family.” Adam Weishaupt, the Illuminati’s occultist founder, explained their plot this way:

There is no way of influencing men so powerfully as by means of the women. These should therefore be our chief study; we should insinuate ourselves into their good opinion, give them hints of emancipation from the tyranny of public opinion, and of standing up for themselves; it will be an immense relief to their enslaved minds to be freed from any one bond of restraint, and it will fire them the more, and cause them to work for us with zeal, without knowing that they do so; for they will only be indulging their own desire of personal admiration” (John Robison, Proofs of a Conspiracy, 111).

Did you catch that? The Illuminati understood that men are the defenders of society. If you invade a nation, it is the men who mobilize and fight to repel you. And they fight for the purpose of protecting their women and children. These same women and children, therefore, are their weakness – their Achilles’ heel. If you can successfully manipulate the women, you can also manipulate the men and influence the rising generation. The chief way the Illuminati-communists have manipulated women in modern times is by employing the fancy slogan of “emancipation” (i.e. “liberation” from the patriarchy, “equality” with men, and “independence”).

Thus, “Women’s Liberation,” from the very beginning, had an ulterior motive – the destruction of the family unit. Later Illuminati agents, calling themselves Marxists, communists, and socialists, openly championed the Suffragette, Women’s Liberation, feminist, and LGBT movements. They are the LGBT movement’s chief sponsors and spokesmen today.

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Feminism is nothing but a communist front movement. Communists such as the Bolshevik Inessa Armand have boasted of this fact. She said:

If women’s liberation is unthinkable without communism, then communism is unthinkable without women’s liberation.”

Yes, all feminists are default communists. They are perhaps the deadliest Marxists in the world because they target the most sensitive and important of all institutions – the home. Little do feminist women know that they are being manipulated by a small group of evil men who are using them to destroy good men and topple society. Communists are the hammer, women are the anvil, and the family unit is being hammered to pieces in between the two.

When we compare women then and women now, feminism’s destructive influence is readily apparent. We can judge a tree by its fruit. Infanticide, broken homes, failed marriages, raging selfishness, rampant hedonism, widespread victim complexes, dysfunctional children, bitter men, and unhappy women are the rotten fruits. We would be exceedingly foolish to conclude that feminism is anything but a perversion and aberration that needs to be dumped onto the ash heap of history and forgotten.

Our forefathers honored and loved their women. The “patriarchy,” so-called, understood the divine roles of men and women; that we are equal in God’s eyes, but different in our functionality. They set up society to protect women and make their careers as wives, homemakers, and mothers as easy as possible. And they cherished those good women who embraced their godly calling and fulfilled it with humility.

What feminists call “oppression” that is, patriarchal families, wifely submission, sound families, strong marriages, and happy homes – is true Freedom. And what they call “liberation” – phantom “equality,” lonely lives, 9-5 desk jobs, a lower level of competence and respect, and less admiration and devotion from men who don’t benefit at all from women’s selfishness – is hellish enslavement. If we truly want to celebrate and honor women this International Women’s Day, we will ditch the Marxist talking points, admit that feminism has corrupted women, torn apart families, and undermined society, and begin to encourage women to return to their homes where they can serve as queens, with all the honor that her lofty station deserves.

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Ladies, the home is where you were designed to shine! The home is where society needs you to be. It is where God has called you to utilize your talents for the greatest good of yourselves and society. Woman, please come home before it’s too late.

Zack Strong,

March 8, 2020